Beers in the shower 2017 – Round 2

Assessing the round of football just transpired is a wonderful task that many in this great city undertake. If you enjoy analysing the week of footy then look no further and add this column to the top of your list.

Bottle of red and the cheeseboard – Adelaide

The Crows of the Rad could scarcely have been more impressive as they came from behind and then dominated the Hawks at the ‘G with Jenkins going down. Their marking and running power were the meat and veg of the win, and they look to have stepped it up from last year. This is surprising as anything coming out of Adelaide usually takes 15-20 years to get up to speed with the rest of the country.

Slab – Western Bulldogs and Sydney

These two teams played out one of the great home and away games on Friday night and should be applauded. Aside from the questions regarding umpiring, the attacking flow, hardness at the ball and desire to win was super to watch. A real cracker for the neutral fans.

Six Pack – Jobe Watson

After a fairytale return for the Bombers against Hawthorn last week, they travelled north to face the Lions in a clash that had danger written all over it. There could be few more contrasting atmospheres than a packed MCG one week and a tumbleweed strewn Gabba the next. As Brisbane came back to give the Bombers a scare, former captain and champion human Jobe Watson stood tall, guiding them home. 33 touches at 75%, equal team high 3 goal assists, 6 centre clearances and a truckload of calmness when the heat was on.

1 Cheeky Can – Port Adelaide

Playing against the static chess pieces of Fremantle, the Pear did what they had to, and did it properly. They could’ve cruised to a 40 point win but instead went on with it. They will face much more sterner tests but you can only beat what’s in front of you.

Stick to the waters – Gold Coast

When the expansion clubs came alive, I really thought that GWS would be the ones struggling with identity, crowds, relevance and player retention. Gold Coast, right now, is the least appealing place to play footy in the country which is extraordinary given Adelaide has two teams and Western Sydney has one. Unless Carlton is playing them, I genuinely couldn’t give two turds what happens to the Gold Coast, and I imagine many others are the same. They play flimsy footy, they don’t appear to stand for anything and not even the pensioners that live up there can be bothered going to watch them in between playing pokies and staring at their weather vanes. They are fighting to be relevant at the moment.

In the frying pan – Jordan Lewis and Jesse Hogan

Melbourne won a game they wouldn’t have won for the last 10 years on the weekend against a nagging Carlton. They should be celebrating that they’re finally grinding out difficult wins, but instead they have Lewis and Hogan suspended for stupid off the ball strikes to the head. You can argue a whole range of things regarding the length of suspension, penalty relative to other incidents, the clarity of vision, and what not but here are the facts: there was no need for either of them to smack the blokes in the face without the ball in the vicinity. Smack them in the stomach, whack their arms, just don’t hit the face! Cripps and Rowe had post match health issues – fractured jaw and delayed concussion. Melbourne have a huge game against Geelong this week, and the chance to go further against Freo and Richmond the weeks after. Lewis misses all, Hogan misses 2. If I was a Demons teammate, and fan, I would be fucking fuming at such ill-discipline. It’s the sort of shit Jarrad Waite would do at Carlton every year; kick 6, punch a bloke, miss the next 3 crunch games. Not good enough when the Dees should be keeping the positivity rolling.


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